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But then – ugh! – some skeezy pimp’d prolly roll up. “Pay up, fatso!” he’d growl. Made me mad, thinkin’ o’ those creeps rippin’ off desperate dudes. I’d wanna punch ‘im, but me? Fight? Ha! I’d just waddle away, mutterin’, “Stupid jerks.” Little story I heard once – some john got robbed blind by a hooker duo in ’98. Left ‘im naked in an alley! Surprised me, how bold they got. “Mmm… donuts.” Wish I had one to calm my nerves after that.

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Finally, I grab my bratwurst and head to the park. It’s a nice spot, with trees and a playground. I plop down on a bench, ready to enjoy my lunch. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, trips, and spills his ice cream all over me! I’m covered in sticky vanilla goodness. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed!” But the kid? He looks up at me with these big, sad eyes. I can’t even be mad. I just laugh it off.

Finalists for Women in Wealth Awards 2024 announced