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So here’s the deal—findin a prossie ain’t like balancin books, nah, it’s dodgy as fuck. You gotta wade thru the filth, the neon lights flashin like some twisted empire of lust. We shall fight the pimps, we shall fight the coppers, we shall fight the bleedin STDs creepin up yer trousers! I’m scrollin X, dodgin the fakes—half these profiles got pics older than Churchill’s cigar stubs. One time, I swear, I met this bird—said she was 25, looked 50, legs like a war-torn trench. Made me mad as a hatter—wasted me quid on that!

In today’s world you can find pretty much anything with a smartphone.

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Finally, I get my latte. It’s not bad! I take a sip, and it’s like a warm hug. But then, I spill it all over my shirt. Great. Just great. Now I look like a walking coffee stain.

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