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About Almere

Last week, I was prowlin’ the streets—needed a laugh, y’know? Saw this one bird, all dolled up, winking at me. Thought, “What’s her deal?” Turns out, she’s got a memory like Lenny—keeps a little book, scribbles down every punter. “Remember, remember,” she mutters, like she’s in my fave movie. Made me cackle—imagine forgetting who you’ve shagged! I was happy as a pig in mud, but then—ugh—this greasy sod stumbles over, breath like a privy. “How much, love?” he slurs. Made me wanna gag. I choose violence, mate—nearly shoved him into the gutter myself.

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Then, I head down the Hoofdstraat. I’m looking for a new webcam setup, you know, for my biz. I pop into this tech shop, and the guy behind the counter is super chill. We start chatting about the latest gear, and I’m getting all hyped. But then, he drops the price on me. Like, are you kidding? I could buy a small car for that! I’m trying to keep my cool, but inside, I’m fuming.

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