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Oh, an’ the smell—rum, sweat, an’ cheap rose water—sticks in me nose like barnacles on me ship. Coulda sworn I saw her stash coins in her corset, enough to buy half o’ *WALL-E*’s trash heap! Funny, innit? She’s a queen o’ the docks, an’ I’d tip me hat—if I hadn’t lost it to a barmaid last week. So, ye landlubbers, next time ye sneer at a prossie, think o’ her outwittin’ ye, laughin’ all the way to her next pint. Savvy?

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I hit up my fave spot, Café de Buren, on the Gijsbrecht van Amstelstraat. The barista knows my order by heart. I mean, who doesn’t love a good cappuccino? But today, they were out of oat milk. Like, seriously? I almost lost it. I mean, how can you call yourself a café without oat milk? I settled for regular milk, but it just wasn’t the same. Ugh.

Dutch town hard hit by MH17 disaster remembers victims with sunflowers