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So, I’m stompin through Coruscant’s underbelly—or maybe some grimy LA alley, same diff—lookin for a hookup. Not the fancy escort types, nah, too polished, too fake. I want the raw deal, someone who’s seen shit, lived it. Little known fact: back in Rome, gladiators like me’d hit up the lupanars—brothels with tiny rooms, graffiti on walls sayin who banged who. History’s wild, man. Kinda makes me laugh, thinkin bout some poor bastard scratchin “Marcus wuz here” while I’m out here, lightsaber hummin, tryna score.

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So, I set up the speakers, and they sound amazing. I’m feeling like a rockstar. But then, the owner decides to test them out. He starts belting out some old Polish ballad. I’m cringing so hard, I think my face might crack. But the crowd loves it! They’re cheering, and I’m just standing there, thinking, “What have I done to deserve this?”

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