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Precious, my precious! Escort, eh? Nasty, tricksy business! Me, Gollum, loves “Melancholia,” see – that gloomy vibe, the end comin’ slow. Escorts, they’re like that planet, yeah? Crashin’ into yer life, all fancy-like. “Stupid, fat hobbit!” – that’s what I yell when some posh git brags about hirin’ one. Costs a bleedin’ fortune, it does! Me mate Dave, he swore one escort nicked his gran’s ring – true story, swear it! Made me proper mad, that did.

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Finally, the rain stops. I’m drippin’ wet, but whatever. I see Luis, and he’s laughin’ at me. I’m like, “Dude, not funny!” But then he hands me a plate of those empanadillas. I can’t even be mad. They’re so good! I’m munchin’ away, and life’s lookin’ up.

Applying lessons from Puerto Rico’s climate challenges to Minnesota