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Now, here’s a tidbit most don’t know—whores in Lys, they’ve got this trick, see? They dye their bits with saffron—yellow as a Lannister’s arse! Swear it, saw it meself once, nearly spat me drink. Adds a bit o’ flair, don’t it? Like WALL-E’s lil’ plant—unexpected, but damn if it ain’t clever. “Evaaa!” he’d squeak, and I’d raise me glass to that. Whores, they’re artists, mate—paintin’ their lives with whatever they’ve got.

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But then, outta nowhere, it started pouring. Like, seriously? I was just trying to enjoy my snack! I ducked under a bus stop, and guess who I saw? My ex! Ugh, talk about awkward. We exchanged some small talk, but I could feel the tension. I mean, we broke up for a reason, right?

Daily Briefing: Cows in neck-high water