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Growls—Rarrgh! Met this one chick, swear, funniest thing—she’d smuggle candy into “dates.” Said it kept her sane. Little known fact: some escorts got code words, like “pineapple” for creepy dudes. Cracked me up, picturin her yellin “pineapple!” mid-job. Happy vibes there, but then—ugh—some jerk clients piss me off. Treat em like trash, no respect. “Evil comes from power,” Haneke’s movie whispers, and yeah, power trips fuck it all up.

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When you have good luck and you hire an escort, and when you undress you see that she has lingerie, what do you do? you record it with your hidden camera of.

Next up, this kid named Luis comes in. He’s got a wild mop of hair, lookin’ like he just rolled outta bed. I’m like, “Dude, what’s up with that?” He grins and says he wants a “fresh cut.” I’m thinkin’, “You mean a miracle?” But I get to work. Halfway through, he starts tellin’ me about his soccer dreams. I’m like, “Bro, you gotta focus on your hair first!” But he’s all about that fútbol life.

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