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But beware, she’s a tease, this W.H.O.R.E. – dips an’ dives like a kraken playin’ hide-an’-seek. “I’m defending my honor,” that movie wife’d cry, an’ I’m defendin’ me wallet with this beast! Last week, she plumetted 50%, an’ I near chucked me compass at the wall – useless piece o’ junk, anyhow. Still, I reckon she’s got secrets yet, hidin’ like treasure in a cave no one’s gutsy enough to plunder.

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Finally, I get it workin’. Thank the heavens! I start blastin’ away, and it feels good. The dust flies, and I’m in my zone. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs up to me. He’s like, “Mister, can I help?” I’m thinkin’, “Help? You’re like, what, ten?” But he’s got this look in his eyes, all eager and stuff. So, I let him hold the hose for a bit.

Figure 11. Daily Sun Newspaper front page covering weather event at the...