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About San Juan

What pisses me off? The fakers, man. Dudes online posin’ as pimps, promisin’ top-tier girls—total scam. Happened to a buddy—paid 500 bucks for a “model,” got a chick missin’ teeth. Laughed my ass off, but damn, that’s cold. Surprised me too—how deep this shit goes. Didja know, back in the ‘60s, Moscow had secret “night butterflies”? Commie brass hid ‘em, but they were there—high-class, hush-hush. Wild, right?

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First off, I hit up Calle 1, my usual spot for coffee. You know, the little joint by the plaza? The one with the best café con leche? Yeah, that one. I’m standing there, waiting for my fix, and this dude walks in. He’s got a parrot on his shoulder. A freakin’ parrot! I’m like, “Is this a pet store or a coffee shop?” The parrot starts squawking, and I’m just trying to get my caffeine fix.

Ernesto becomes a hurricane after drenching Puerto Rico