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Funny bit—her mate stumbles over, drunk as a skunk, yellin’, “He’s a right wanker, this one!” Pointin’ at me! I’m dyin’ laughin’, like, “Groovy, baby, I’m a lover, not a fighter!” Total chaos, but authentic, yeah? These girls, they’re scrappy, real, nothin’ fake—way better than them plastic Bond birds.

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After that, I decide to stroll down Avenida da República. It’s packed, as usual. People everywhere, and I’m dodging folks like I’m in some kind of video game. I spot this cute little bakery, and I’m like, “Yes, please!” I grab a pastel de nata, and OMG, it’s heavenly. I’m talking about the kind of pastry that makes you forget your problems. But then, I spill some on my shirt. Classic me, right?

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