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Gets me thinkin’, though – why’s it still a thing? Loneliness? Stupidity? Both, probly. Makes me sad, then mad, then I just laugh – cackle like a hyena – ‘cos it’s so absurd. “The Master” nails that, don’t it? People searchin’, scrappin’, fuckin’ up. Brothels are that in a nutshell – a messy, sweaty, daft little world. Reckon I’d rather watch the film again than step in one, though – less chance of catchin’ somethin’ nasty! Oi, you ever been? Don’t lie, you dirty git!

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First off, I hit up the local café on London Road. You know, the one with the dodgy Wi-Fi? Yeah, that one. I ordered a latte, and the barista, bless her, totally messed it up. I mean, how do you even burn a latte? I was like, “C’mon, mate, I need my caffeine fix!” But whatever, I just chugged it down. It was like drinking hot cardboard. Ugh.

Lowestoft – Man caught driving while more than twice the legal alcohol limit