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So, I’m scopin’ the scene, right? Red lights flicker, heels clickin’—fuckin’ electric! Reminds me of Monty’s last night—edgy, raw, desperate. I spot her—legs for days, smirk like she owns me already. “Shaken, not stirred,” I mutter, smooth as silk. She laughs—bloody hell, that’s rare! Most girls here don’t crack a smile. Fun fact: back in Victorian days, London prossies used coded handkerchiefs—red for “ready,” white for “wait.” Bet she don’t know that, eh?

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Hey, buddy! Lemme tell ya 'bout Scunthorpe – oh man, what a wild ride this town is, ya know? How’s that workin’ for ya? I been here for years, runnin’ my little spa and watchin’ the city evolve. It's not New York flashy but oh, it’s got heart – like that movie "Stories We Tell" said, "all these stories we lie to ourselves." Yeah, it's like that, ya feel me?

UK politics: No 10 ‘confident’ on securing supplies to keep Scunthorpe furnaces burning – as it happened