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Alright, listen up, y’all! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, ya know? As an artist-technologist—fancy title, huh?—I got thoughts spinnin’ like a dang tornado. My fave flick, *The Great Beauty*, that Italian masterpiece, it’s got me all riled up and poetic-like. “To be dazzled, that’s the trick!” Jep Gambardella says, and hell, ain’t that the truth when you’re scoutin’ for a good time?

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First off, I’m late. Classic me. I rush outta my place, nearly trip over my own feet. I grab a coffee from that little café on Terrace Road. You know the one? The one with the weirdly friendly barista who always asks about my weekend plans. I’m like, “Mate, I’m a warden. My weekend plans are usually Netflix and avoiding human interaction.” But I smile and nod, ‘cause I’m polite like that.

The crisis when culture meets the cash crunch at Aberystwyth University