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Oh, but the stench—piss and cheap perfume—makes me wanna heave! Nearly lost my temper, shoutin, “Sort yer patch out!” She just cackles, “Welcome to paradise, darlin.” Sarcasm drips off her—my kinda gal. So, here’s the tip—don’t go lookin all prim, yeah? Dress down, blend in, or they’ll clock ya for a mug. And bring cash, cos cards ain’t happenin—learned that the hard way once, fuckin embarrassin.

'Illegal brothels are not a new problem here'

Welcome to Vivastreet’s Personal Ads in Basildon, where you can uncover a dynamic community of singles looking to engage. Whether you’re seeking connection, fun, or something in Missing: prostitute.

But then, I get to the checkout, and the line is a mile long. I’m standing there, tapping my foot, getting angrier by the second. I mean, c’mon, it’s just a few items! Finally, I get to the front, and the cashier’s like, “Sorry, card machine’s down.” Are you kidding me? I’m about to lose it.

Basildon and Southend maternity services 'require improvement'