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Still, I’m chuffed when it works out. Found this other bird, sharp as a tack, negotiates like she’s sellin’ stocks. “How much?” I ask. She smirks, “More than your Aston Martin, babe.” Cheeky! Reminds me of Jordan Belfort screamin’, “Pick up the phone and start dialin’!”—she’s dialin’ my number, alright. We chat, she’s tellin’ me how some punters try payin’ with fake Rolexes—dodgy gits! Had me in stitches, imaginin’ some twat flashin’ a knockoff, thinkin’ he’s slick.

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Anyway, I get to the meeting, and it’s chaos. Everyone’s talking over each other. I’m trying to pitch my new sustainable farming idea, but it’s like shouting into a hurricane. I’m getting frustrated. I mean, c’mon, people! Can we focus?

Machete gang in Solihull flee as police helicopter responds to burglary reports