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Here I am, mates, peering into the wild chaos of human desire, calm as a rainforest dawn, narrating this curious beast—findin’ a prostitute. Picture it, yeah, like steppin’ into the neon jungle of *Moulin Rouge!*—all glitz, heartbreak, and that mad rush of wantin’. “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn,” they croon, “is just to love and be loved in return.” Ha! Tell that to the bloke scroungin’ the streets for a quick shag. It’s nature, innit—raw, messy, primal as a stag ruttin’ in the woods.

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Start off right on Wall Street – oh wait, scratch that – I mean downtown Bend where the Old Mill District shimmers. Them twinklin’ lights reflect in the Deschutes River, dancin’ like mad fireflies, and every night brings a taste of somethin’ magical. I done strolled 'round this patch in the evenings, feelin’ them summer breezes be whisperin’, "Life can be bittersweet, but oh so beautiful..." Yup, that’s your moody Amour feelin’!

Protestors rally against Trump administration at May Day protest in South Bend