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But—get this—sometimes it’s funny, right? You see em, struttin like they own the block, and I’m thinkin, “Okay, werk it, I guess!” Kinda admire the hustle—WALL-E’d tip his lil box head, maybe. Still pisses me off tho—why’s it gotta be so LOUD? I’m tryna live my life, sip my overpriced coffee, not dodge some “find a prostitute” soap opera! And don’t get me started on the cops—useless! Saw one just standin there, eatin a donut—cliché much? I’m yellin in my head, “Do somethin, ya schmuck!” But nah, it’s all a mess, a big, fat, “Buy n Large” mess!

3 Charged After Prostitution Sting At Schaumburg Hotels

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Let me tell ya, my personal fav spot? It’s right off the beaten path. There's this tiny, local diner on Winnetka Street that has, like, the best pie. Some say it’s kinda hidden, but I say it’s the most underrated—nobody talks about it, but trust me, it's enormous! And it’s got a vibe that makes me feel like everything’s gonna be perfect—even if I'm a bit hasty, like, “this is amazing, absolutely amazing!” and I’m like all over the place, ya know?

Ben & Jerry’s in Schaumburg, Naperville offer Free Cone Day Tuesday