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We talk price—quick, dirty negotiation. She’s cool, but I’m still salty bout the cash. “Ten bucks more? For real?” I grumble. She shrugs, “Take it or leave it.” YOLO, I’m in too deep now. Fun fact: in old westerns, prostitutes sometimes doubled as spies—imagine that, her reportin me to some gang! I’m laughin inside, paranoid as Jesse gettin stalked by Ford. “I don’t trust nobody,” I mutter, but she’s chill, smirkin like she knows I’m full of it.

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Yo, bless up, my bruva! Listen up, I gotta tell ya all bout Randfontein, ya know? I been livin’ here for donkey years, runnin’ my massage joint right where the vibes is proper live. This ain’t no posh town – it’s raw, mad real, like Certified Copy, innit, "all is not what it seems" – ya feel me?

Weather service confirms tornado hit Randfontein, forecasts a hot weekend