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Ain’t perfect tho—too much pressure and yer yelpin’ like a pup. Too little, and yer like, “What in tarnation’s this?” But when it’s right? Hoo boy, it’s like harvestin’ a bumper crop—satisfyin’ as all get-out. So, y’all tryin’ this sexual-massage thang? Tell me, how’s that workin’ for ya? Reckon it’s a hoot and a half!

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First off, I hit the road early. Like, way too early. The sun was barely up, and I was already zooming down Jl. Diponegoro. I thought, “This is gonna be a breeze.” But nah, traffic was a nightmare! I mean, come on! It’s not like I’m trying to get to Jakarta or something. Just a little town, right? Wrong! Everyone and their grandma was out. I was stuck behind this old dude on a motorbike. He was going like 10 km/h. I was ready to scream!

Indonesia to turn former mine areas into tourism destinations