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Exaggeration time—she’s got a tractor! Swear to God. Says she rides it naked. Probably bullshit. But I’m picturing it—hotter than a compost pile! Then—surprise! She’s quoting movies too. *“The past never lets go!”* I’m hooked. We meet. She’s no bot. Smells like dirt and cheap perfume. Sexy? Kinda. Angry part—she charges double! Greedy little—ugh! Still paid. Worth it? Maybe.

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But the Wi-Fi is spotty. I’m like, “C’mon, Cabo Rojo! Get it together!” I’m tryin’ to work, but I keep gettin’ distracted by the locals. They’re so friendly, always sayin’ hi. I love it! But also, I’m like, “Guys, I’m on a deadline!”

Disillusionment grows as cruise ship arrivals fail to impact Pedernales economy