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About Guaynabo

Favorite flick, *Melancholia*, got dat vibe—“Everything is going to hell.” Dis one time, saw her, yeah, smokin a cig, eyes dead like Kirsten Dunst. Made me sad, bruh, but kinda happy too—real shit, ya feel? She winked, I froze—me, Gollum, all shaky! “We wants it, we needs it,” I mutters, but nah, just watched. Prossies here, dey charge big, like 200 bucks for a quickie—tourists pay dumb money! Makes me giggle, da hustle.

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I’m chasing after this dog like it’s the last auction of my life. I’m dodging people, tripping over chairs, and all I can think is, “This is NOT how I pictured my day!” But the crowd? They’re loving it! They’re laughing, cheering me on. I finally catch Chiquito, and the applause is deafening.

Reclaiming Puerto Rico’s Food Paradise (Published 2015)